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Surrender Your Need to be Understood


Speaking your truth in today’s world can feel like stepping into a war zone. Perspectives are weaponized, opinions are treated like explosives; with every thought we share, we run the risk of being shunned, ridiculed, or even worse….


For many people, this is a deep, often debilitating fear. After all, we’re social beings who crave acceptance and community. To think that our peers may see us as something we’re not, and then reject us for it, can be a nightmarish thought — not because their perspectives are all-powerful, but because we have virtually no control over them

When we realize that this is something to celebrate, we achieve ultimate freedom. 

How so? Let us explain… 

The need to be understood is a prison of the spirit because it places our peace in the hands of everyone but ourselves. We can only hope we convey the complexities of our souls in a way that is both accurate and understandable; if others don’t perceive us the way we want them to, we don’t feel the peace or security of their validation. 

But by accepting the possibility of being misunderstood, we are liberated from these external requirements and free to be our authentic selves. 

Being misunderstood is an integral part of the human experience. If everyone understood each other, we’d have no poetry, paintings, books, or films — there would be no need for communication, and thus no need for art. Everything would look, sound, and feel the same. 

Yes, interpersonal understanding elevates the collective consciousness. Understanding each other should be one of our main objectives on this earth, which is why empathy and communication are such important tools.  

But no tools are effective 100% of the time, and that’s ok. 

Some people will be committed (often without realizing it) to misunderstanding you. No amount of emotional intelligence, intentional phrasing, or carefully worded analogies can change another person’s willingness or unwillingness to hear you — which is why surrender is the only solution. 

When we surrender our need to be understood by others, we reclaim our peace and can finally live for ourselves. 

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About the author


The Dear Universe Team is a dedicated collective of writers and spiritual seekers passionate about manifestation, the law of attraction, and the depths of spirituality.

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