How I Finally Reclaimed A Lost Part of Myself
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As a little girl I was born into a family of incredibly creative people. My dad quit his 9 to 5 job when I was born to become a full-time professional watercolorist. My mother has illustrated many children's picture books and was a highly sought after psychic reader as well (a little known fact). Both of my parents are highly intuitive and creative humans and I am so grateful for their influence in my life.
My dad is apparently related to a very famous artist named Samuel Prout from the 1800s. Although we can't find the missing link, they share a name, similar facial features and a similar style.
I grew up in galleries, studios, art exhibitions around the world with art and intuition in my blood.
In my grandmother's home (my mother's mother), she had an art studio with all of her portraits, sculptures and sketches plastered over every wall. One of the last deep and meaningful conversations I had with my grandmother in person was when I was 19.
Nana Mollie made me promise her that I would keep creating artwork and writing no matter what.
I promised her that I would.
This was a promise I sadly had seasons that I couldn't keep.
(pictured below: left is Nana's home studio and right is Nana and I when I was about 12).
Early Artistic Success...
From as early as I can remember my happy place - a place of peace and meditation - has been creating art. And as an added bonus, I'm an entrepreneur so I was always excited to find avenues to sell and share my creations.
At 14, I sold my wrapping paper designs to Hallmark. This was my first taste of manifesting success. I used visualization and connection to the Universe - all of the things I teach to my students to this very day. I gained media attention and was cut a pretty nice paycheck for a first teenage job.
At 19, I held my first solo art show in Smith Street, Collingwood in Melbourne, Australia. I painted for months.
And because I couldn't afford canvas, I would buy old poster boards that had been mounted on chip board. I would use sandpaper and remove the image and then paint over it to create my original pieces of artwork.
I adored staying up until 3am and working on my collection.
My show was called:
"Dream Of The Chrysalis.”
The theme was all about inner transformation from turmoil into light.
I had no idea that it actually foreshadowed a journey I was yet to travel.
It was during this time that I met my first husband. We had been dating for a few months and he knew the show was special to me. I'd invited press/media contacts, my friends, family, other local artists and it was an event not to be missed.
Officially, it was my own first entrance onto the art scene since I had attended my parent's art shows pretty much from the time I was born.
Champagne was flowing, sales of my paintings were happening. I was centre stage in the spotlight of this event answering questions about my work and yet all I could think about was that my boyfriend chose not to show up and be by my side. This was actually a bone of contention way into our marriage that was such a trivial thing to hold onto.
Below are the only photos I have of this time in my life.
I allowed this experience to impact my art career and my passion for painting - I allowed this to happen because I was immature and had issues of self-worth.
I lost this very important part of myself when I chose to put this relationship first.
This is probably an all-too-familiar situation that many women throughout history have found themselves in.
At 20, I lost my first pregnancy at four months, at 21 I gave birth to my son Thomas.
However, even though I was a full-time stay at home mother in what felt like a toxic and suffocating marriage, I still craved to be creative and keep my promise to my Nana.
At 22, I attempted to spark up another creative avenue. I won an entrepreneurial award that gave me the investment money to start what I called SPROUT CARDS. I would create and design my own line of gift wrap and cards which didn't succeed in the way I had planned.
At 24, I moved to Sweden and I didn't paint or draw at all…instead I wrote and started really studying the Law of Attraction.
This was a move I didn't know would serve me and millions of others until many years later.
Years passed and I didn’t create art.
I did keep writing though.
Always, in the back of my mind was the question: "When will I make time for my art again?"
I'm now 43.
Recently I was reflecting on 2022 and was scrolling through all of the photos I have on my phone.
And the one thing I noticed is that EVERY month of 2022 I created art.
This was on my list of manifestations that I was determined to make happen this year and I'm so glad I did.
I intentionally spent time creating and putting paint on canvas. It became a spiritual practice for me.
And as I write these words I feel emotional, because it's me keeping my promise to my Nana.
When I moved to Vero Beach, Florida in early 2022, I set up a home studio in our garage. When my Dad came to visit in March we painted together. In September, when we were designing the Dear UNIVERSE Journal, Sean (the love of my life encouraged me to include my artwork as the end-papers of the journal. As well as that, we have the “Cosmic Journals" which are my creations as well.
This was the beginning of my season of what I call: INTUITIVE ART.
I am an intuitive artist that paints when guided from within to do so. I have no idea what I want to paint - it just flows through. It's a surrendered process where I connect to the Universe and put intention and affirmation into every piece.
As an example, the piece I knew I needed to create called The Light Of Abundance revealed to me a face - two hours after I had completed it.
Painting in my home studio here in Orlando fills my cup. It's a way to finally reclaim a part of myself that helps me to be a better spiritual teacher, a better wife, mother, friend, sister and all of the roles that I need to fulfill.
If you have received anything from this article today I hope it is this:
Create time for the things you love.